As my thumb scrolls through the many posts on Facebook, I see them. These memories I see as I scroll through Facebook the past few days are enough to make my heart sink, my throat dry, and tears well up in my eyes. They’re pictures of your children all dressed to the nines with their new back packs and clothes looking so cute and ready for their first day of school. Another milestone for the books. My day is coming, it’s next year. If you were to ask me last month how I felt about this day that is coming (next year) there would be so many mixed feelings going through my mind and body I wouldn’t know what to think.
Going through everyone’s pictures of their beautiful children growing older and reaching milestones, makes me want to hug and hold my child and wish she stayed young forever all while letting my little Miss L learn and grow into the person she’s meant to be. About once a day, I look at her and think where has the time gone!? I never thought being a mother would be this hard, rewarding, and gratifying all at the same time. Being able to have the honor to raise a child into a wonderful compassionate, respectful person is an honor and something I definitely don’t want to screw up. I have this inner battle that makes me want to savor every moment I have with her and protect her from all harm and anything possible that could go wrong, but I have to let go.
Through all of this there is someone that makes all of this easier. They give me hope. Hope that all of these feelings are okay and normal. They are the moms of older children. You contribute so much more than you think. You set the bar and give us an example and belief that everything will be okay. So THANK YOU, to those moms that have older children. I can’t help but think that you went through this too. Thank you for reassuring me through all of your photos and cute Facebook posts that our journey in raising our child is something to be honored and celebrated. Thank you for your fearless yet unaware leadership to all of us with younger children. THANK YOU.
I feel like I can’t write this without a proper Thank You to our wonderful babysitter. I fear the day that Miss L will no longer spend her days at your house with the other children. It’s the place she has spent (almost) just as much time at as at home. Your house IS her second home. It’s where she learned how to share, how to care for other younger children, and where she had so many firsts. When our day comes we will miss you dearly. Thank you for being our support. I couldn’t think of anyone better to help raise our child.